Feeling Sorry For Myself

Following on from my day at Chichester, yesterday I went to Southampton to have some more of my sisters cells (the last in the freezer).

As we were walking to C7, I spotted Darren, the most fantastic nurse ever – who had sat with me on the side of my bed and held my head whilst I ‘chundered’ everywhere while I was in for the transplant. Not just that, he went above and beyond his duties to make me feel ok! He was so pleased to see me and told me ‘you have made my day’, it made me a little emotional! I had forgotten he had never seen me with hair and they do, in bone marrow / leukemia transplanting, see a lot of fatalities! So to witness and see a patient you have cared for with a life threatening disease who is now skipping along with a ‘costa’ in her hand must be satisfying.

Joan was running an hour late as the person before me had tougher veins than me and they couldnt get the canular in, selfishly I hope mine is a breeze.

In the hour that I am waiting… again… I see loads of staff I know. It’s like a school reunion, and then someone I was dreading seeing turns up. My CONSULTANT! I have coloured my hair which I was specifically told not to do, and I had already decided that I would wear a wig for my appointment with her on 2nd July!! “Hi Lucy you look great”, she says as she is looking at my forehead. I respond with, ‘You are looking at my roots, obviously I have had it done without touching my scalp”. She asked ‘Has it made you feel better?’ so I replied – ‘No, you did that’, then she winked and off she went.

To all of you reading this going through transplant, they can give you all the advice and they are going to be over cautious, but everyone is different and I am now making some choices.

In I go, love Amy – straight in with the needle, canular, drip, IV, no probs, we go for the right arm as the left is bruised from last week and I have a little pillow behind my lower back as that still bloody hurts from yesterday!!

Out of the Dalek…
come the lyphocite cells… “bloody hell thats a big bag”, yes we are upping the dose.



I won’t bore you anymore, but just to say I have felt like SHIT today, as although Chemo is my friend it is also my enemy and again the knock on effects from Monday has given me horrible memories where I have felt sick all day and exausted as once again I have been poisoned. On top of that my sisters cells are finding their way around, and my insides ache! I hate being the sickly child, so the answer tonight has been a packet of salt and vinegar crisps (you lot that have had chemo will understand) and a glass of Rose!!!

Although, I know, what I have had this weak is all good and what needs to be done – did I really need my spinal fluid, tampered with?

By the way I do stink of the preservatives, but back to work tomorrow!!!

5 thoughts on “Feeling Sorry For Myself

  1. Hi Lucy,
    Glad things are progressing well. I had noticed the hair! Looks good. I remember it so well. It,feels like the return of ‘you’. Another big step along the way.
    And yes, they really do need to put the chemo in your spine as I believe I was one of the first few they started this procedure on as part of the norm. The first person I met when allowed out of solitary & encouraged to take a walk along the ward, had had the dreaded Luek return in her brain! It was terrifying. She was in a wheelchair & wired up to all sorts of things.
    You really don’t want to got there!
    Anyway you got off lightly. I had to go to Southampton for each of mine. And Kate makes you lay there for longer after.
    Glad things look good.
    Christine xx

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